So.. I am very far into my “surgery prep day.”
I started the day with one cup of coffee. I have had chicken broth for all of my meals. At 11am I drank 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate mixed with 7up. It was not horrible. At 3pm, I began drinking a 64 oz bottle of gatorade mixed with an entire 14 day dose bottle of Miralax. Needless to say, I have been visiting the restroom easily once an hour. I am wrapping up my packing for the hospital.
I am in a great mood considering my tummy not feeling normal. At this point I think I have done all of my anxiety driven worrying and such. I am now just setting my sights on a week from now, two weeks from now, six weeks from now.. and I am picturing great things.
I think the best way to end this post will be to include a message I posted to my Facebook page. I have had more hurtful messages and harassment on Facebook than any other social platform because people there knew me pre-transition and they seem to think they can define me. I post more on all other forms of social media due to this. This is meant as a celebratory message, but also as a rebuke of those people:
Ari is having Surgery!
Tomorrow morning I will begin a long hospital stay in Chicago. This surgery is related to my transition. I am elated and so relieved to finally reach this moment.
For me, this step simply will bring my body more fully into alignment with my gender. There is a misconception out there that this will be the moment that I ‘become a woman’, but I feel that is an out of date way of looking at gender and that view is more about social conformity.
I am just Ariana.
Gender Today: Female
Gender Tomorrow: Female
Gender at Birth: Female
Biological Sex at Birth: Male
For those scratching their heads, there are scientific journal articles that explain that gender is experienced neurologically and that it is independent of the biological sex of the body. Most people are lucky enough to have those two match. My parents won the lottery and had a child without a matching set of biological sex and gender.
Over the past three plus years I have simply been able to crack out of the shell I was placed in at birth and I am already free and so very happy and the healthiest I have ever been in my life. This surgery is scary of course. There are risks. However, I accept those risks and I am willing to face the difficult recovery. I have jumped through countless hurdles to be approved for this surgery. The medical community understands what this is and those entrusted with my care agree that this is right for me. I know there are people in my social circle here on Facebook who would say they “do not agree with this.”
I would ask those people, “How do you not agree with the existence of a person?"
I am here. I exist. I am happy. I am strong. I am highly intelligent. I am mentally sound. Like each of you, I am a beautiful creation.. an example of the breadth and wealth of human existence.
Now, I choose to fully be me.
Also, I just want to take a moment to mention that my surgery is being partially funded by people that have come out the woodwork to support me through donations.
My website, blog, Huffington Post articles, and social media accounts are places where I am open and honest about being transgender.
My story has reached 98 countries and thousands of people. I get messages of support and of thanks daily.
Those messages drown out the cyber bullying which has grown weaker and weaker lately.
I am so grateful to those that have donated. Thank you! If you are interested in seeing the messages people have left as they showed up to support me, here is the link: http://youcaring.com/helparianaout
Now.. let’s do this!