These photos were both taken on Monday. On the left, 2:39am & on the right, just before I began to stream later that day. Why is she sharing this? Is she okay? You might ask many questions based on the picture on the left. Why did i even take that photo?

The short answers are yes I am “fine” and I took the picture to remember how I was feeling. When I struggle to sleep or I am really “experiencing the feels,” I sometimes take a picture. I look back upon my week or my month and look for patterns as to when and why I might be experiencing a tough time.

Here is the thing. These days it is truly about 80 to 90 percent of the time I am doing just great. There are days though when I slow down a bit and just begin to experience a time where things have built up and I need to just shut down and let the emotions take hold.

I am kind of an emotional sponge (an ENFP, the E is very marginal). I have an over abundance of empathy for those that I care about and I tend to also take on and hurt when members of my family or friends are hurting. I don’t always show it in the moment when conversing with them. I try to be what they seem to need me to be for them, but then later when I am off on my own.. boom 💥

Lately, a lot of people I care deeply about are struggling for a variety of reasons. This affects me even though my personal situation is currently relatively okay.. good even. But, I hate feeling powerless and very early Monday morning I felt powerless and frustrated.

I am not looking to be showered with attention or concern here.. I mainly post this just to say.. I am NOT my best selfie. I’m human and experience a wide range of good and bad times just like anyone else. My outlook is almost always positive these days and for that I am very grateful. I am glad to know many of you personally and you all collectively help me just as much as anything I have ever posted has helped you.

There is a reason I am still on social media after all this time. I keep meeting amazing people through it! Love you all! ❤

#iamnotmybestselfie #emotionalsponge #feelingthefeels #girlslikeus #transvengers #lgbt #itsokaytocry #letyourselffeeltoheal #twitchaffiliate #linkinmyprofile
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAZCqScnBHb/?igshid=djaopdi4l4xl

In the days of the trials, a hero emerges.. Just kidding! It’s only me. Ari has finally left the building on a bright and sunny Friday. Mask at the ready in my purse, I braved the unknown. I got to witness some crazy flooding of one of the nearby rivers after last night’s weather. Apparently 3 people needed to be rescued down river. The water was high and fast. They were canoeing/kayaking and became trapped under a bridge! I hope you all have an amazing but safe weekend. Be careful out there!
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Most of my adventures lately have been virtual ones and I have been sharing them on my Twitch channel. Thursday night I ended up doing a 4 hour after party with a bunch of the lovely people that join us for the Transvengers show.
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I do hope those of you that have seen me talk about Twitch eventually check it out. In these strange times a whole host of new people have finally created a free account and have found a community of wonderful accepting and loving people to hang out with. You should too! twitch.tv/ maidenariana and click follow and maybe subscribe to support the channel and help me be live there more often! The full link is also in my Instagram profile.
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Love you all 💕
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#decadeofari #twitchaffilate #fuschiagirl #fuschiahighlights #girlslikeus #lgbt #transvengers #shorthairstyles #twitchreallyisfun #whatareyouwaitingfor #wedontbite #wearenicepeople #watchoutforbriannahthough
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAQQJMbnF8F/?igshid=9kyv5tfnfdid

Several friends on my twitch stream yesterday made the joke that they could only see my head when the stream started. Their coordinated humor actually tricked me into thinking the gamma was too low on my camera. 🤣 Despite being a little slow on the uptake, it was a blast playing GTAV with @meganbound and my friends Burn and Rud. Quality criminals.. each and every one of ya! Follow at twitch.tv/maidenariana and twitch.tv/meganboundgaming for our next adventures

#camojoke #ididntgetitatfirst #floatinghead #fuschiagirl #fuschiahighlights #hazeleyes #transvengers #lgbt #girlslikeus #lookmeganididit #iworeahoodie #twitchaffiliate #linkinmyprofile
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAF4PiwH_HP/?igshid=rver5do53yul