Warning.. This is a shout out for my P a t r e o n. I know people probably think P a t r e o n is just a money grab, but I use it to offset the high costs of everything I invest in content creation.. equipment and software for twitch, now also for YouTube, and for more creative things I do for my Instagram and websites, plus time taken away from money making consulting gigs. I love doing all this and am driven to create things and will keep doing it anyway. However, I am lucky to break even presently and that includes the little bit I get from twitch only when there is over $100 to payout there at the right time of the month. If you appreciate what I do and most importantly can afford the small amount a P a t r e o n subscription costs, then please consider checking it out. You can try it for a month and only pay the fee once by canceling if you like. Every bit helps ๐Ÿ˜Š A specific need I have right now is to acquire a couple more components and then I can build a dedicated stream and video capture pc. I have done of what I need in older parts. If P a t r e o n is not to your liking you can also find my wish list that has some content creation equipment listed. Links in my Instagram profile. I appreciate your time in reading and considering this ๐Ÿ˜˜ -Ariana

Track: When You Feel Most Alive โ€” Broke in Summer [Audio Library Release]

Music provided by Audio Library Plus

Watch: https://youtu.be/fyliOSVRtcA

Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/3roH0gS

#foryourconsideration #justbeyou #maidenariana #contentcreator #lgbt #twitchaffiliate #youtuber #transvengers #blondegirllife #fuschiagirl #hazeleyes #naturalcurls #swimsuitwars #swimmingbod #onepiece #polkadotswimsuit #summertime
https://www.instagram.com/p/CRmfLlTnbxO/?utm_medium=tumblr

Curly, straight, fuschia, blonde, brunette, stylish, tall, athletic, demure, strong, sweet, kind, empathic, compassionate, cute, brilliant, beautiful, sexy, free, happy, fun, alive..

Of all the things that have been used to describe me by other people in my dms and comments, the messages that matter most to me are from people who say I’ve made an impact for them by being visible and just being me.

I know lots of people get a sour taste from social media. It comes and goes for me and I take breaks from posting and don’t worry about posting daily etc. I view it as a space that can simply be fun for sharing joy with other people while also being an extremely important outlet & source of much needed inspiration and solidarity with others who are like you.

The first time I ever posted publicly on social media was on tumblr during the darkest days of my life before transitioning. It truly was stretching my hand out and upwards from a dark pit of despair and loneliness. I was in a dangerous place at the time.

All I can say now is thank you to every single supportive person that has ever bothered to acknowledge my existence and especially those who outright supported and encouraged me to continue to be me.

If you feel isolated, unseen, unheard, and think your experience and life do not matter.. you are wrong. You matter. You are alive. Stay alive and dare to be everything you know you can be. Apologize to no one for it.
Grow. Strive. Persevere.

You are your own worst critic and worst obstacle.

I know, I’ve been there.

#lgbt #transvengers #justbeyou #maidenariana #decadeofari #hazeleyes #naturalcurls #devilishangel๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ผ #fuschiagirl #fuschiahighlights #curlyhair #blondegirllife #blowoutstyles #heylookitsariana #twitchaffiliate #ihaveapatreon #linksinprofile
https://www.instagram.com/p/CRb9lqXnXpW/?utm_medium=tumblr

Another Ariana technical term.. “gut wrenching annual internal clock.” Have you ever noticed that every year, the same week/time period of a past emotional trauma can affect your health or outright flood your memories for several days? For me, the worst is early July. I am filled with feelings of anxiety and gut wreching memories from years ago (6 years to be exact).

It was at this time that my marriage was ending even though I did not want it to. The worst part was this was also the time period that we had to break the news to my kids. That particular day remains the most emotionally painful day of my life.

It was followed shortly thereafter by saying goodbye to them knowing for the first time in their lives they would be away from me for far too many days at a time and nothing would ever be the same again.

I get through this period of time each year by finding peace in extra time outside or in a project that challenges me. I still make plans with my friends during this time but find myself sometimes canceling them. ๐Ÿ˜ž I am sharing all of this here just to make people aware that this is a thing if they have not recognized it before in their own life. Our brains are like associative AI machines.. for me early July is associated with great pain. The first couple of years after this event I would have unexplained night time panic attacks during this time period.

What time of year is it for you? Is it because a loved one died or a marriage ended? How do you cope each year? Has it gotten a little better each year like it has for me?

I wish you all peaceful days and healing thoughts. Far to many of my trans siblings out there know what is like to have to face this kind of pain simply for telling our spouses the truth about who we are.

#maidenariana #storytime #difficultdays #justbeyou #decadeofari #hazeleyes #purpleskaterdress #transvengers #lgbt #blondegirllife #fuschiagirl #twitchaffiliate #ihaveapatreon #linksinprofile #instaprofilehasmylinks
https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ1xDwsneuP/?utm_medium=tumblr