I finished my taxes late last night, then couldn’t sleep after focusing so intently on something like that. I was tired at first this morning but wow did I make some strong coffee today! Also.. I ate a bunch of carrots yesterday so do my eyes seem brighter to you too? 🥕🥕🥕👀🙄 Maybe they are just very wide open right now? 😄🙃 #myhairisstillwet #curlyblondebobcut #fuschiastackedbob #fuchsiahighlights #curlymodeactivate #transvengers #lgbt #flowerdress #floraldress #summerdress #carrotsaregoodfortheeyes #youshouldeatthemtoo #twitchaffiliate #linkinmyprofile #ihaveapatreon #samenameashere
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAqfQV4HZey/?igshid=eplb2ng7jju

These photos were both taken on Monday. On the left, 2:39am & on the right, just before I began to stream later that day. Why is she sharing this? Is she okay? You might ask many questions based on the picture on the left. Why did i even take that photo?

The short answers are yes I am “fine” and I took the picture to remember how I was feeling. When I struggle to sleep or I am really “experiencing the feels,” I sometimes take a picture. I look back upon my week or my month and look for patterns as to when and why I might be experiencing a tough time.

Here is the thing. These days it is truly about 80 to 90 percent of the time I am doing just great. There are days though when I slow down a bit and just begin to experience a time where things have built up and I need to just shut down and let the emotions take hold.

I am kind of an emotional sponge (an ENFP, the E is very marginal). I have an over abundance of empathy for those that I care about and I tend to also take on and hurt when members of my family or friends are hurting. I don’t always show it in the moment when conversing with them. I try to be what they seem to need me to be for them, but then later when I am off on my own.. boom 💥

Lately, a lot of people I care deeply about are struggling for a variety of reasons. This affects me even though my personal situation is currently relatively okay.. good even. But, I hate feeling powerless and very early Monday morning I felt powerless and frustrated.

I am not looking to be showered with attention or concern here.. I mainly post this just to say.. I am NOT my best selfie. I’m human and experience a wide range of good and bad times just like anyone else. My outlook is almost always positive these days and for that I am very grateful. I am glad to know many of you personally and you all collectively help me just as much as anything I have ever posted has helped you.

There is a reason I am still on social media after all this time. I keep meeting amazing people through it! Love you all! ❤

#iamnotmybestselfie #emotionalsponge #feelingthefeels #girlslikeus #transvengers #lgbt #itsokaytocry #letyourselffeeltoheal #twitchaffiliate #linkinmyprofile
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAZCqScnBHb/?igshid=djaopdi4l4xl

Several friends on my twitch stream yesterday made the joke that they could only see my head when the stream started. Their coordinated humor actually tricked me into thinking the gamma was too low on my camera. 🤣 Despite being a little slow on the uptake, it was a blast playing GTAV with @meganbound and my friends Burn and Rud. Quality criminals.. each and every one of ya! Follow at twitch.tv/maidenariana and twitch.tv/meganboundgaming for our next adventures

#camojoke #ididntgetitatfirst #floatinghead #fuschiagirl #fuschiahighlights #hazeleyes #transvengers #lgbt #girlslikeus #lookmeganididit #iworeahoodie #twitchaffiliate #linkinmyprofile
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAF4PiwH_HP/?igshid=rver5do53yul